Heart Ache

It's been a terrible year already. I don't want to blog about life getting worse. But it has.
Captain received more upsetting news (besides job rejections) after the first of the year. He went for his annual flight physical, and a problem showed up on his EKG. It's a genetic condition that we had no way of predicting. We tried to hold out hope--waiting for more extensive testing that was ordered for the following week. But the cardiologist agreed with the flight physican: my Captain has hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. This is the condition you may have heard about because it strikes down high school football or soccer players--out of the blue.
It's terrible news.
Of course, I am VERY glad that Captain didn't suddenly die of heart failure (which can come without any warning signals). But I can hardly think about the blessing because the hurt cuts so deeply. Captain has to give up this #1 passion. His pilot license has been revoked. Immediately and forever. He can never get it renewed with the FAA--no matter what treatments or future symptoms he has or doesn't have. This is devasting news for a man who loves flying more than food, or sports, or cars, or most anything else. To throw away 25 years of experience? and all he has worked for? This is tough news for his job search, which was already becoming an emotional burden as we passed the 100th day of unemployment.
The cardiologist is not sure what to do. He recommended wearing a heart monitor for 30 days to see if the upper left or lower left chamber is more affected. Captain might need a pacemaker or medicine or surgery. Luckily we heard about a specialist in KC from Troy and have booked a February appointment. Meanwhile, the montior is continuously linked to the hospital, and if there were any drastic changes, then an ambulance would be dispatched to Captain's side.
It has only been 10 days since the crash, but it feels like a decade. It feels terrible.